Dear Marc Jacobs,
No, no, no, no, no.
NO. But yes to those sunglasses.
Happy NY fashion week everyone!
There is always so much controversy about how people should be permitted to advertise their shit. However, most of the time if you have the finances to pay for prime advertising space, no one really cares how sick your ads are until some annoying person starts bitching about how it’s negatively affecting their children’s psychological development and blah blah blah.
That being said, while those irritating complain-ey women (they’re ALWAYS fucking women) should just shut up and watch the Y & R, there are actually some pretty disturbing ads out there that are traumatizing children/men/women/dogs alike. Here are a few of my personal favourites:
The D & G Classic Gang Rape Scene
Sisley Italy’s Coke-Whore Party Ad
This and Every Other American Apparel Ad
Yeah. All in all, our society loves to exploit human life by using slutty-ness, drugs and violence to capture the attention of the bored-as-shit public. It’s sick, yet enchanting at the same time. Even though some of these ads are disturbing, they’re all really representing some form of art, one way or another. Art and advertising have been known to reflect human behaviour and desires, whether we want to admit that or not. I say, if you don’t like it, just IGNORE it and don’t let your 5 year old look at your French Vogue unless they’re mature enough to handle seeing someone’s vagina. Otherwise, enjoy the raciness and go pick up Tom Ford’s new scent. Life is about choices, not censorship. All of that type of shit is still going to exist in the end regardless of what we choose to put in magazines. Face it.
Everything is better when it’s been designed by a professional artist/creative director/celebrity. This obviously/especially applies to drinks and so I’ve chosen some of the most amazing designer beverage containers I’ve ever seen and posted them below.
Versace Diet Coke
Typical Donatella. Colourful, obnoxious, extravagant and a little weird.
Jean Paul Gaultier Diet Coke
Gaultier used his traditional male/female silhouettes for his custom DC bottles.
Cavalli Diet Coke
Animal print is even hotter on a Coca Cola Light bottle.
Moschino Diet Coke
This Moschino design is pretty, feminine and super romantic.
Absolute Rock Vodka
This grungy, studded-leather vodka bottle is so fierce. Paired with a cropped leather jacket, a pair of ripped skinny jeans and a sky-high pair of studded Louboutins, you could pretty much scare the shit out of everyone at any party. Perf.
Special Edition Moet Rose
All I have to say is this: it’s champagne, it’s pink, and there is a metallic gold pen. For these three reasons, this is the best set EVER.
Alcohol and fun in one super cute package!! I don’t know about you, but I love drawing on shit when I’m drunk.
On that note, I’m going to have a drink. A really glamorous, expensive drink.
Like handbags, clutches are awesome because you can put your shit in them. This season’s clutches come in exciting colours, fabrics and prints with fab embellishments. Aaaaand here they are: Alexander McQueen unicorn skull flower knucklebox This clutch has everything; … Continue reading
Metallic python is my weakness. I don’t care what it is, if it’s metallic and made of real, quality python there is a 90% chance that I will buy it. For instance, yesterday at the Mostra Internazionale dell’Artigianato in Florence I came … Continue reading
So yeah, it’s summer again. Kind of. It’s rained every day in Florence this week and it’s supposed to rain EVERY DAY from now until Monday. (How is this weather even real)
But when the sun actually comes out again, it will finally be time for summer looks! And in order to put together the perfect summer looks, you should probably acquire these summer staples (my FAVS). I can’t live without these items during the summer months.
1) Citizens of Humanity jean cut-offs (I fucking LIVE in these. I wore them 4 days in a row once.)
2) The perfect comfortable, slouchy white Acne tee in a soft jersey fabric.
3) Bright OPI nail-polish in uplifting, summery SHREK colors.
4) Gin. Fun summer activity: If you have time to waste, cover your gin bottles with Swarovski crystals. (More on summer activities later)
5) Simple cute white Keds sneakers. Mine are dirty as fuck and I only bought them like 3 weeks ago, but I plan to wear them into the ground and probably get another pair because I LOVE them. They literally go with everything, from a peach tulle tutu skirt to a pair of destroyed cuffed skinny jeans to a basic pair of black leggings. EVERYTHING.
6) A hot Victoria’s Secret contrast-color strapless bikini that you mix n’ match yourself, paired with subtle body jewelry. SO simple and sultry. Sidenote-don’t overdo it with the beach jewelry though or you’ll look like a whore. (P.S. You don’t want to look like a whore)
There are so many reasons why summer is awesome; the gorgeous weather, the freedom to wear more exciting/revealing clothing…and my favourite part, only eating half a salad and having a sip of Diet Coke twice a day and getting wasted really fast when you’re partying in the sun all weekend…so much fun!! But it’s mostly about summer fashion. And fruity sugar-free cocktails.
“I don’t have any sunglasses. This is fucked up.”-Me, 2 days ago
Since I generally tend to look pretty fucked up during the day, sunglasses are a must for me. They need to be tinted dark to protect your eyes from sun damage, and huge to prevent other people from seeing you. Sunglasses cover your shit. I don’t/can’t leave the house without them during the day, and wear them up until at least 8 or 9 pm. Sometimes I’ll wear them through an entire class. It fully depends on how tired/hungover/drunk/pale/sick I look (am).
It is also important to own at least 20 pairs of sunglasses, so that when you lose one or 5 you will still always have another pair stashed somewhere.
Fashion-wise, they are also a crucial accessory to any outfit. You can alter the mood of a look by simply pairing a particular sunglass with your other accessories. Heart-shaped powder pink sunglasses can create a fun, young, cute look while an over-sized white trimmed pair of aviators can create a more bold, crisp, fashion-forward look. Gradient, slightly-squared tortoise acetate frames can make for a more casual, chic and relaxed look. Sunglasses with spikes and crystals can compliment an I’m-a-psycho-make-people-shit-in-their-pants look.
These are my favourite pairs of sunglasses right now:
A-Morir Black Shield with Crystals
10 Corso Como Heart-Shaped
Tom Ford Whitney
Hope your day is super sunny!
Demure majesty and bold femininity were the reigning themes of the new Spring 2012 couture collections. Pale pastels sashayed down the runway at Elie Saab in romantic shades of peach, powder blue and mint.
Feminine silhouettes and cuts highlighting the sexiest parts of a woman’s body ruled the Versace show. Shiny metallics and bold neon hues blinded the audience.
Maxime Simoens displayed a sharper variation of the sweetheart neckline at his show, giving the traditional romantic look an edgier feel. Body-slimming metallic accents were added to garments to create sexiness and curves.
At Alexis Mabille, shockingly bright colour-blocked dresses were a common theme this season. Larger than life embellishments adorned the models’ gowns and heads; over-sized drapings of satin material wrapped into roses became decorative hats.
These collections are daring, daunting and darling all at the same time. Spring 2012 spells sweet and sexy all in one chicely-wrapped package!
Elie Saab (romantic tulle and pastel peach)
Versace (metallic, bold silhouettes)
Maxime Simoens (edgy sweetheart necklines)
Alexis Mabille (color-blocking with oversized embellishments)
So if you happen to have $10,000 lying around, it would be a good idea to pre-order one or two of these dresses! Actually, you could probs only get one.
Dear people who love hot dresses,
I have hand-selected 4 of my FAVOURITE sexiest dresses and posted images and corresponding labels with them below. I actually own one of them (the Herve Leger) and whenever I put it on, I kind of want to have sex with myself. I’m in love with it. Never underestimate the power of a hot dress. Also, never underestimate the power of a Brazilian bikini wax.
Versace Herve Leger
These dresses make me want to go out and party.
On that note, it’s probably time for me to go to bed because I’m deathly ill right now. I’ll be partying in my dreams tonight. Double fisting gin and tonics.
Creatures of CRAP
So basically, I hate the new Spring/Summer 2012 collection by Creatures of the Wind. Who thought that these pairings were a good idea? The tacky prints, mismatched granny skirts and shapeless tops will frighten children and adults alike. One of the things that scares me most is the knee socks paired with one-inch-heeled strappy sandals. The ankle socks may even be worse. Who knows. I not only despise heels that are less than 5 inches high, but I also really dislike putting socks and sandals together with an outfit. You are not at home in your kitchen cooking dinner or hanging out in your living room-sandals are not slippers! And I would hope that if you’re going to wear shoes with socks around your house, that you make the right decision and wear a cute pair of RUNNING SHOES, moccasins, or even fluffy slippers instead of some hideous old-lady sandals. The designer failed epically to produce a riveting line of clothing this season. I get that Spring tends to bring with it many variations of floral prints…but the prints should probably not be combined with high-waisted, long, pleated skirts that resemble an old couch from the 70’s. So…Creatures of the Wind=FAIL. F-. I’m pretty sure that the only person who wears shit worse than this is Lady Gaga.