I spent 5 years at this place, and got this really nice piece of paper.

UWO3Western 2Western1

I went to this thing in London, Ontario called a “university” where you have to go to all these different rooms and listen to people talk about things, read books, go to parties, get drunk, remember all the shit you learned in the rooms/books, and then write tests about everything. It was hard.

At the end of your program, there is this other thing called “convocation” that I missed because I was obviously in Europe. At “convocation” you get something called a “diploma” that basically states you’ve graduated from some accredited program in some field and can now fuck off and look for a way to make money other than through drug dealing or prostitution.

I forgot all about my diploma for like, 2 years, but then remembered that I felt like going to London to drink and visit friends right before the school was going to destroy it. I figured I’d pick it up on my way to the bar.

But once I got it, I was like, “What am I supposed to do with this? Why is it so big? Is there a hair salon nearby?”

I could’ve put it on my wall like most people, but I felt like I could do better.

Other Uses for a Bachelor’s Degree:


Cute Placemat


Hand towel


Welcome mat…




Toilet paper




Page in colouring book



Ahhh success. It’s truly inspirational earning one of these. Now it’s time to look for a legit career. I wonder if the Saugeen stripper has found a good job yet.


UWO3UWO4Western3UWO2Saugeen stripper


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