Things to do on a train when you’re bored

Travelling can be super boring and induce anxiety, especially when you’re doing it like more than 4 times a week. Needless to say, I’ve been finding myself getting pretty fucking bored while travelling to Monte Carlo or Paris or Milano or wherever. And since I hate flying, I have been taking first/second class trains everywhere which is usually pretty comfortable but still lame because there isn’t really anything to do except fall asleep in awkward positions or stare at people.

After exhausting most of our options, my sister and I came up with a list of things to do while you’re on a train and bored as shit. And here they are:

1) Acrobatics

I don’t/can’t really do this, but my sister finds it amusing to embarrass everyone around her (me and my mom) by climbing shit and doing slutty pole dancing tricks. I’m actually never really that embarrassed by it though, I find it pretty funny.

2) Make fun of our other siblings who aren’t here. And dad.

We could do this for hours because it’s SO easy. All you have to do is pick an incident, conversation or text message and tear it apart. It’s great because they’re not even here to defend themselves, so we always win.

3) Write poetry.

I  came up with these two haikus with a little help and encouragement from my sister. Here they are:

The sun is shining

I am leaving Monaco

Proenza Schouler

*****

I missed Italy

I am on my way back home

Where there is champagne

*****

I tend to write haikus because it’s especially easy to write a haiku. Even a total moron can do it. Just remember, 5, 7, 5. 575. Yup.

4) Try to smoke a cigarette in the washroom. Just kidding, you’d totally get in shit for that.

5) Make sure your shit doesn’t get stolen.

This can be kind of difficult given that there seem to be gypsies and sketchy people everywhere, but I find that if you carry a large weapon with you at all times, this helps to keep them away.

I am still trying to look for new things to occupy my time. Reading, listening to my iPod and talking to other people becomes rather boring after a while. So, if anyone has any suggestions, they’re welcome. I’m starting to get to the point where I’m losing my shit.

L

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