These macarons can go fuck themselves.

There are macarons at literally every boulangerie/patisserie in Paris. It’s out of control. They are really cute and REALLY good, but they’re totally bad for you so I only ever buy them for decorative purposes.

Because of all the hype over these little cookie-things, I’ve been wondering what the fuck a macaron is exactly. Are they cookies? Pastries? Miniature inside-out/upside down retarded cupcakes? This is what I discovered in my research:

  • Macarons are made with: egg whites, icing sugar (eew), granulated sugar (no), almond powder, milk ingredients (fuck no) and food colouring (no).
  • Each macaron has about 60 calories. That is fucked up considering how small they are.
  • A macaron is NOT a macaroon. Two different things.
  • Macarons are chic and trendy.
  • They were originally created in Italy, and then later brought to France by some monks or something like that.
  • Laduree Paris is like 150 years old.

Given the calorie/ingredient situation with these things, I guess for now I will only stare at and smell the macarons that I encounter here in Paris. I feel like it’s kind of the same as eating them anyway.


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