Thanks, mom.

Dear mom,

I haven’t seen you in like a year, but you’re getting to Italy tomorrow and I’m SO excited. I’m also excited to shop.

Over the years, I have been kind of a disaster but the whole time I have always loved and appreciated you and everything that you’ve done for me. I know Franc and I always make fun of you for going to church all the time, but I understand that church can be as powerful for you as Louis Vuitton and Proenza Schouler are for me. To each his own.

And I realize that in the past twenty eight years you’ve had to deal with my shopping/Barbie/drug/manicure/yoga/alcohol/Hello Kitty/fashion/make-up addictions, along with my annoying veganism and the many surprises that I’ve sprung upon you, such as the one where I got a dog and didn’t tell you. But that ended up being a happy surprise for the entire family, because while I’m here in Italy, he is bringing excitement and joy to your lives each and every day. Thanks for taking care of him btw.

So today, I am sending you positive energy for being a source of inspiration in my life. Thank you for always encouraging me to read The Secret, wear my healing crystals, ask the Archangeal Michael for forgiveness, ask that other saint whose name I can’t remember to help me find all the shit I lose at the bar (like my keys that one time) getting me that metallic silver Gucci purse last year, sending me money, and going with me to Planet Organic, Whole Foods, Yorkdale, Michael Kors, Louis Vuitton, the Four Seasons, Holt Renfrew, BCBG, Aritzia, Victoria’s Secret, the Eaton Centre, the sushi place next to our house, and McDonalds. Also, thanks for taking me to Starbucks 37 times a week. And above all, thank you for loving me just the way I am, even though I’m totally fucked.

Love you!

Happy mother’s day


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