Evil mutant Italian-African-whatever mosquitos.

Not unlike Italian men, Italian mosquitos are such assholes. And to make matters worse, they’re really smart. I started to wonder about these little pests after constantly finding them EVERYWHERE from school to my apartment, and noticing that my mosquito bites wouldn’t fully go away until WEEKS after I was bitten. How did these things become so powerful?!! How do I get them away from me?! Why am I here?!!!

Anyway, I did some research and discovered that a friend of this girl I once met at a night club said that they are not Italian mosquitos per se, but Africanized mosquitos. What exactly does this mean? Here’s what it fucking means:

These mosquitos were colonized by AFRICAN mosquitos-you know, like the ones who carry malaria and just won’t die? Apparently that doesn’t mean that they carry malaria, only that they are from the same family of the malaria-carrying ones. That still does not make me feel comfortable on any level.

This makes them faster, smarter and more able to outlive certain conditions. So when you try to swat them and miss, this is why they fly up to the ceiling as if to say ‘Fuck you’, because now you can’t reach them anymore, instead of in the case of the average mosquito who would probably just move a little to the left and then end up getting squashed. Idiots.

They are also able to hide for hours without you even noticing them and then attack you while you’re sleeping. This is totally unfair. In the middle of the night I am constantly hearing mosquitos buzzing around my head! It’s distracting and annoying, because it prevents you from falling asleep peacefully and half the time I end up getting up and spending a good hour throwing things at them and spraying hairspray in their general direction until they’re all dead before I can go to sleep. This is one of the reasons why I’m ALWAYS tired in class.

Mosquito bites all over your body also tend to ruin entire looks. How can you possibly put on a hand-beaded sequinned mini dress and a pair of 5 inch heels and still look pulled together and glam with a thousand red marks all over you? This has happened to me before and it sucks.

So if you see one of these mosquitos in Italy, kill it. They’re more hazardous than the regular ones that we are used to in North America and their goal is to RUIN YOUR LIFE. Vive la resistance!

Sex Photography?: The Project Continues

Yeah. So I’m putting together my final portfolio to submit for photography class. It’s been kind of difficult because at first I thought I was supposed to be capturing sexuality in my photos, and then I started to feel like a pornographer so I changed my vision. Regardless, my vision is still pretty fucking retarded. The whole thing is really unclear right now.

Anyway, rather than focusing on ‘sex photography’ my focus has turned toward creating an expose on my life as a fashion publishing student here in Italy, or whatever. And so, here are 6 images that I included in this “personal diary” project :


I can’t help but feel like they’re a little bit too like, artsy and weird for me. Maybe I should just stick with the sex and alcohol pics. They’re way better.

Who knows. The search for artistic enlightenment is a lifelong journey. I need a glass of champagne.

L

Python Heaven

Metallic python is my weakness. I don’t care what it is, if it’s metallic and made of real, quality python there is a 90% chance that I will buy it. For instance, yesterday at the Mostra Internazionale dell’Artigianato in Florence I came … Continue reading

What is the significance of April 30th in Italy and why does it involve drinking until like 8 am

It just so happens that Naomi’s birthday party falls on April 30th, the day where bars and clubs are open until like 8 am in Italy to celebrate some holiday. The following day (May 1st) is International Workers’ Day, which everyone conveniently has off, so I have a feeling that shit is going to go DOWN.

When she sent out the invite, I nearly peed myself with excitement. There is a holiday in Italy where everything is open ALL NIGHT???! HOW DID I NOT ALREADY KNOW ABOUT THIS

I needed to know what this holiday was and how it could be real, so I did some research.

Notte Bianca (otherwise known as ‘White Night’)

Apparently, on this night the entire city stays up late hosting special (drinking?) events. There are two weird bicycle events that take place downtown, which I skipped over reading about. I don’t do bicycles. Basically there is a giant street party; every store, restaurant, bar, sketchy phone place, cafe and tabacchi stays open all night; there is music blasting in all of the piazzas; people get shitfaced. This is my favourite kind of event. So. Excited.

L

Fav Organic Vegan Recipes

Punchfork.com is not only a great new way to waste your time, but it also contains hundreds (thousands?) of recipes organized by diet so that you can look through gluten-free, vegetarian, vegan and kosher recipes in separate categories! So good.

I have picked out two of my fav vegan recipes to share with you because they are healthy, light, colorful dishes that will not fuck with your summer diet. Vegan food is where it’s at.

Brown Coconut Rice with Cilantro
  • Cilantro (3 tbsp)
  • Coconut, sweetened (2 tbsp)
  • Ginger, fresh (1 tsp)
  • Coconut milk, light (1 cup)
  • Garlic clove (1 clove)
  • Salt (1/4 tsp)
  • Brown rice (1 cup)
  • Water (1 1/4 cup

Bring ingredients to a boil and then let simmer for 40ish minutes. Keep covered for 10 more mins. Fluff with fork. Brown rice is amaze. White rice is evil.

Veggie Infused Quinoa Salad

  • Artichoke hearts (1 can)
  • Cherry tomatoes (1/2 cup)
  • Lemon, fresh (1)
  • Mint, fresh leaves (1 few)
  • Onion (1/2)
  • Oregano, fresh (1 A few sprigs)
  • quinoa
  • Garlic cloves
  • Olive oil, Extra virgin (1)
  • Salt and pepper (1)
  • Vegetable stock, low sodium (1 cup)
  • black olives
  • tofu

Saute onions, garlic, oregano. Add quinoa to pan and toast it a bit. Add veggie broth, s & p, simmer on low and cook for like 40 mins. Oh yeah, and cover the pan. Let it cool for about 30 mins after the liquid has evaporated and the quinoa is tender, and then add everything else, including cubed tofu. So summery!

These are really easy to make and require little to no real skill, considering that I can’t cook for shit and I am able to put them both together perfectly.

A few other things I can make:

  • glass of water
  • apple, washed
  • variety of salads
  • toast (this can be tricky)

Good fucking luck!

L

Why is everything so boring

Lately, I have been really bored with my life. Getting pants-shitting drunk, trying to walk around Florence in 5-inch heels and passing out in some random spot in my apartment just hasn’t been cutting it. I’m not saying that I’m tired of drinking or anything and shame on you if you thought that. I’m just tired of drinking in Florence. I’m also sick right now. Fuck.

So I’ve been forced to come up with other things to do while I’m bored, since you just can’t be drunk all day every day.

Some of the things I enjoy doing in Florence when I’m bored are:

Going to Brac cafe

This is an amaze balls cafe by Santa Croce that has a separate vegan menu and probably the best soy cappuccinos I’ve ever had. It also has a middle section that’s inside but it’s actually outside but it’s still kind of inside. It feels like you’re sitting in someone’s really cute little backyard. Really chic and cozy. It makes me want to put on a pair of oversized hipster reading glasses and write poetry, or have an intense discussion about the arts.

Online Shopping

This has to stop. It is addictive and I’m fucking out of control. I go on websites and basically plan what I’m going to buy, by visiting every single authoritative high-fashion site that matters (luisaviaroma.com, polyvore.com, net-a-porter.com, 10corsocomo.com, yoox.com, whatever) and *heart* items or make a list in my Blackberry of what to buy this season/day/manic episode. I usually end up with a list of like 5 or 6 things that collectively cost over $10,000 and begin to re-evaluate what I’m doing with my life. Then I pick one thing and I buy it.

Getting a Smoothie

Smoothies are perf meal substitutes and are equally amazing when you’re sick. It’s fun to make them yourself, but if you’re lazy, ill, hungover or just don’t feel like doing anything it’s so much easier to go to the nearest organic vegan smoothie place and just get them to make you one. I also don’t have a blender at my apartment in Florence, which sucks. And I’m not about to go out and get one. There is a sweet place called Love Life in Florence that makes super good smoothies and it’s a convenient 2 minute walk from where I live. Banana/strawberry/avocado/almond milk is my fav!

Stealing Sara’s iPad and Playing Fruit Ninja

This massively popular fruit-slicing game is one of the BEST ones I’ve ever encountered. Yesterday, I laid in (Sara’s) bed and played Fruit Ninja for about 3 hours straight. I was also extraordinarily quiet the entire time which is weird for me, so it was somewhat peaceful and relaxing to just sit next to Sara and not really say anything for a couple of hours except the odd ‘OMG A DRAGON FRUIT!! or ‘MOTHERFUCKER!!!’ This experience also made me realize that I’m getting an iPad. I also want a smoothie.

The colossally disappointing part of all of this is that I am now getting bored with all of these things too. I need to find something new before I lose my shit.

L

Handbags large enough to fit a bottle of vodka in them

One of the most important things in life is whether or not a bottle of vodka will fit in your purse. I’ve discovered a number of bags that combine fashion with practicality, and have included details and corresponding images below.

Louis Vuitton Speedy 25

 

Longchamp navy tote

 

Louis Vuitton Damier azur neverfull

 

Rebecca Minkoff 3 zipper black leather clutch

Yeah, about the Rebecca Minkoff….kind of but not really. But where there’s a will, there’s a way, right?

 

xoxo

 

L

 

 

Summer Fashion Staples

So yeah, it’s summer again. Kind of. It’s rained every day in Florence this week and it’s supposed to rain EVERY DAY from now until Monday. (How is this weather even real)

But when the sun actually comes out again, it will finally be time for summer looks! And in order to put together the perfect summer looks, you should probably acquire these summer staples (my FAVS). I can’t live without these items during the summer months.

1) Citizens of Humanity jean cut-offs (I fucking LIVE in these. I wore them 4 days in a row once.)

2) The perfect comfortable, slouchy white Acne tee in a soft jersey fabric.

3) Bright OPI nail-polish in uplifting, summery SHREK colors.

4) Gin. Fun summer activity: If you have time to waste, cover your gin bottles with Swarovski crystals. (More on summer activities later)

5) Simple cute white Keds sneakers. Mine are dirty as fuck and I only bought them like 3 weeks ago, but I plan to wear them into the ground and probably get another pair because I LOVE them. They literally go with everything, from a peach tulle tutu skirt to a pair of destroyed cuffed skinny jeans to a basic pair of black leggings. EVERYTHING.

6) A hot Victoria’s Secret contrast-color strapless bikini that you mix n’ match yourself, paired with subtle body jewelry. SO simple and sultry. Sidenote-don’t overdo it with the beach jewelry though or you’ll look like a whore. (P.S. You don’t want to look like a whore)

There are so many reasons why summer is awesome; the gorgeous weather, the freedom to wear more exciting/revealing clothing…and my favourite part, only eating half a salad and having a sip of Diet Coke twice a day and getting wasted really fast when you’re partying in the sun all weekend…so much fun!! But it’s mostly about summer fashion. And fruity sugar-free cocktails.

xoxo

L